Killing Our Stars Slowly

We're a pretty dramatic society. We throw the word 'tragedy' around with relative ease. Only in the American consciousness can we follow a story about a crazed astronaut driving over a thousand miles wearing a diaper en route to kick the ass of her husband's fling with the word "tragic." I wonder if the Greeks would disagree with our diagnosis of the current American 'tragedy' du jour, Anna Nicole Smith. Aristotle defined a tragedy by three distinct characteristics:

1.) The plot must have distinct point of change in which a discovery is made, and there must be suffering.

Imagine for a second that Anna fits the criteria for Aristotle's first requisite. We'll call the death of her son the point of change in her twisted plotline. Obviously she suffered immensely from this. But I have to wonder if the definition of suffering becomes clouded when that suffering is masked by enough pills to kill a small horse. Isn't suffering part of the human condition, an emotion and a state of being we are naturally supposed to experience and embrace, albeit begrudgingly?

Next,
2.) The main character must be good, appropriate, realistic and consistent.

Anna Nicole may have been good at shocking people and consistently inebriated. But insisting that you and your 87-year-old husband bang constantly is neither realistic nor appropriate. If Anna is realistic and appropriate than Trump is bohemian and humble.

Lastly,
3.) The people must be able to sympathize with him.

For some reason, the American public feels like it can sympathize with celebrities who live so far off the mark from the majority of our daily lives. Can any of us really sympathize with Anna Nicole? Sure some of us have battled inner demons, drugs, alcohol abuse, the loss of a child. I'll bet there are a few chicks out there that married a soon-to-be-corpse to inherit a fortune who behold Anna as a role model. But what thread of commonality runs between Anna Nicole Smith and a housewife in Illinois, a young professional on Long Island, my 86-year-old grandmother?

The answer is nothing. Anna Nicole is a manufactured public icon. There is nothing remotely genuine or real about her. She changed her name, her body, her image and her life to 'please' us all. And we gobbled it up. We were fascinated by her ability to become famous and constantly make us drop our jaws in shock and disgust. We wanted her to be a disaster--strung out, pathetic and helpless. And now we're all just rubbernecking at the absolute disaster we all had a hand in creating.

I really think the death of Anna Nicole Smith was not so much a tragedy, but a manslaughter by the American public.


...And in a twist of well-timed irony, Ms. Britney "Not to be outdone" Spears, excuse me SHEARS needed to remind us all that not every synthetic pop star that we binged on, used up and tossed away is dead, yet. Though I’d be lying if I said that I didn't see a bottle of pills and overdose in her future. And who knows, maybe even a paternity test or two. If were lucky.